"Dishes are for wom....hm......"

So, I have another funny story to tell you.  The issue at heart isn’t so funny, but that can come later.

I am sponsoring the senior class again this year.  This year, we have thirteen students.  I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but compared to last year’s five seniors, it is quite a large class.  Today, we did our first big fundraiser – a school-wide Thanksgiving Dinner.  We prepped turkeys, stuffing, rolls, gravy, potatoes – the whole shebang.  Much of that work happened last night.

The majority of the seniors and we two sponsors went to Mr. Carter’s church where the large kitchen would provide us plenty of space in which to work.  We set about preparing the food for nearly 300 people.  They did great.  Kerry and Edward worked on the Jello salad.  Mike and Amy heroically chopped the dozens of onions.  Levi and Brian valiantly wrestled with huge batches of bread dough (having never kneaded bread dough in their life, I think they did ok!), and Cheryl and I worked on the gooey pumpkin dessert.  Zeke kind of floated about.  First he washed the celery, then he…helped with random jobs, I guess.  I don’t know exactly what he did, but he was helping.

Finally, most of the food was prepped.  Levi and Brian were working their raised dough into rolls, and Cheryl and I were still working on the pumpkin stuff.  Mr. Carter had gotten the turkeys in the roasters, and he and I decided it was time to start the cleaning process.

“Ok, boys!” I said.  “Time to start cleaning.  Zeke, start some dishes.  Edward, you can wash dishes, too.”

“Dishes are for women,” Edward announced with a grin.

“Haha,” I said drily, “No, they’re not.  Get washing.”

“Nah, Miss Hall, dishes make your hands wrinkly,” Zeke said.  (He had complained about wrinkly hands when I set him to work on the celery.  I had told him to keep his hands in the water, not to dry them too often, and he’d be fine.)

“Never mind,” I said.  “Do dishes.”  They procrastinated.  It’s amazing how just a bit of movement can put a person off and make you think they’re doing something useful.  The two boys moved aimlessly around the kitchen for a good two minutes before I realized they weren’t obeying.  “Hey,” I said.  “Get on the dishes!”

“Dishes are for women!” Zeke said.

I looked up.  My eyes sparked, and I grinned a hard, crooked grin.  You know, the kind of half smile that isn’t really smiling at all.  “One more of you says that dishes are for women, and I’m going to crack an egg over your head.”

“No, Miss Hall!  You wouldn’t!”  I didn’t say anything.  I try not to repeat myself.  They looked at each other.  “She won’t.  She won’t!  Would she? Nah!  Say it!  Say it!”

Edward tried it first.  “Dishes are for…”  A smiled tugged at the corner of my mouth as I directed my hooded eyes toward him.  My hands were covered in pumpkin, egg, and cream cheese, but there were fresh eggs just over there.  Edward caught my look and shook his head.  “Nah, I can’t say it!”

“Brian,” Zeke said gleefully as Brian came back in to get more flour for his bread dough.  “Say it!  Say it!”

Brian, with his signature head duck and half smirk, began, “Dishes are for wom...hm….” the word faded and was lost in an indistinct mumble.

“He’s smart,” I said, looking approvingly at him.

From the other room I heard a commotion, and I turned my head.  Levi was still separating dough into rolls.  He had just said something.  The boys were laughing.

“Say it again, Levi!” Zeke called.

“Dishes are for women!” Levi called loudly.

I looked at him while the boys hooted in laughter.  “You’re in trouble now!” they shouted.  I gauged his mood.  He was looking straight at me, his eyes glinting with mischievousness, as usual.  He was smiling his mocking smile, as usual.  I smiled back.

“What, Miss Hall?” Levi asked, feigning innocence.

“You’re going to need a shower tonight,” I said.

“What?”

“You’re going to take a shower tonight,” I repeated.

“Why would I take a shower?”

“You’re going to want to.”

He shrugged and bent his head over his dough again.

I didn’t move immediately.

“She won’t do it.”  Zeke and Edward were talking again.  Looking at me, watching me.

“Yes, she will,” Mr. Carter said from the sink.

“Mr. Carter should know,” I said.  “He spent a whole week with me last year on Senior Trip.  Mr. Carter knows what to expect.”  I left the mixer to wash my hands.  I sauntered to the counter, grabbed a fresh egg, and walked around the outside wall to approach Levi from the back.  He barely glanced up as I came toward him, and he didn’t move.

The two rooms became very quiet as I approached.  No one said anything.  All the students' eyes were on me.

I reached up and cracked the egg over his head.

His astonishment was immense.  His eyes got huge, and he turned toward me in shock.  I didn’t have anything to say, so I didn’t say anything, and I got back to work while the boys came around him to commiserate – I mean, laugh.

“Wash the dishes,” I said.

They got on it.